Early Experiences

The first experiences participants have are often filled with overwhelming love and excitement, both for the participant and for the person living on the next plane of life. The excerpts from journals that follow are examples of the the first experiences participants have had with the Self-guided Afterlife Connection.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman's first connection, very early at Stage 3

For the first recording, I picture myself in Ellen's (the woman I'm trying to connect with's) room at the nursing home, which is no longer her room. But in my mind, it was hers again and it was exactly as it was when she lived there. I honestly was not doing this to try and force a connection, it was just the first place that came to my mind. Anyway, it's a small private room that was beautifully decorated with antiques and a lot of maroon. It's a dark environment, the feeling is deep and rich. I walked into the room, a tiny bit expecting to see Ellen, even though you said no expectations (sorry!), but she wasn't there anyway. I looked around, no one was there. Then, you said imagine a child. Immediately, the image of a little girl of about 4 years old appeared sitting on the floor beside Ellen's bed. I walked over to her, and she looked up at me. She looked very familiar. Light blonde hair, with long bangs across her forehead. She was fair skinned with big blue eyes. She was wearing a beautiful lace white dress. She had a toy train in her hand and was driving it across it's toy train tracks that lay on the floor next to Ellen's bed. I soon noticed that it was me as a child. "Sophia! Play with the train with me, playing with trains always makes you feel better." I became confused, as she continued begging me to play with the train. "Where's Ellen?" I asked (sorry again!) lol. "Sophia, just sit on the floor with me. I know you're sad." I honestly don't remember what else was said, but I feel as though I spent a lot of time with myself.

Then, for the second recording, you said to imagine a place and I didn't choose the same place (I don't know if I was supposed to). Instead, I pictured a beautiful ocean and myself sitting on the beach. Quickly, my hair grew longer and more flowy, and I had on a flowy white top with bell bottom jeans and no shoes on. I was sitting in the middle of a yard with flowers and birds surrounding me, and playing the guitar. (I can't play the guitar). The relaxation music became the music that I was playing for the birds, and a bird feeder appeared in the middle. Then my best friend from when I was a child who I have not seen or thought about in years appeared- we were in her yard. I said her name over and over, but she just kept staring at me and smiling.

NOW, for the third recording! I know you said not to question it, but I can't help it. I decided to go back to Ellen's room. I walked in, and looked around again. It was empty. I walked over and sat in her maroon recliner next to her bed, feeling alone. You said to ask if anyone was there, so I did. Nothing happened. I walked over and opened her closet, brushing my fingers along her clothes. I closed the door and looked in the bathroom. Again, no one was there. Then, I went over to her bed, and picked up the stuffed koala that she used to sleep with (and talk to) every night. I held the koala in my arms and sat in the recliner. As I was sitting there, SHE CAME. She walked over to me, and I tried to speak but she took the koala out of my hands and threw it on her bed. She grabbed my hands and stood me up with her, and began to dance with me to the relaxation music. "Ellen?! Is that really you?! Is this real? Do you have a message for me?" She put her finger in front of my mouth, and said "Shhh, just keep dancing." She didn't need a walker, and she moved flawlessly around the room- keeping me in her arms the whole time. She seemed extremely delighted and calm. We danced for a long time, and I thought she was done with me. I sat back down in the recliner, and she sat on the arm of it, putting her arm around me. She then brought me close to her and squeezed me tightly for a long time. "You didn't lose me." She said. The relaxation music stopped, and I started to count my way out of it. She seemed sorry to see me go, honestly. When I counted myself all the way out of it, I was overcome with joy. I began to tear up, and I said "Ellen, was that really you?" I felt a slight sense of her being near me...which (I know you say not to say this, but) I felt like may have just been my imagination...

You say not to doubt this, but it's so hard...it seems too good to be true. I'm trying hard to let go of my doubts and disbelief though, I've already come a long way. A year ago I didn't believe anything that couldn't be seen with the human eye.

Whether it's real or not, though, it has been extremely valuable to me. Something that money can't buy. Everyone should know about this.

I keep wondering if she thinks I'm crazy for doing all of this, if she thinks I'm a bother, etc. (I don't know why I can't shake those feelings...that would not be like her at all to feel that way)...but she seemed ecstatic that I was 'visiting' her. It gave me more peace.

It's still hard for me to decipher what is from myself and what is from a different source, but I certainly believe that some of it was from a different source. The Ellen visit..I'm sure was from her. I never would have dreamed she would have just grabbed me and began dancing right in the middle of her bedroom...she didn't dance at all while she was here! If it was all from my mind, it would have been her telling me everything she felt, and how life was on the other side, and whether or not she was with me, etc. etc. etc. But it wasn't at all that way- and so I know it was at least partly her.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman's first connection, very early at Stage 3

The following exercise I noticed myself on a beach in Jamaica. I immediately felt sad as this was were I honeymooned, I felt the disastrous consequences of this marriage and in that moment The scene changed to me sitting under a palm tree with my parents sitting either side of me, both of them were gently rubbing my back, I looked from one to the other feeling incredibly happy, I moved around so that I could look at both of them at the same time, they both held my hands and I felt the sensation of my hands being squeezed gently. My dad said they have been trying for a long time to speak to me (although I never heard these words coming from his mouth I head them directly I don't know how I just heard them ) he said life in their world was wonderful, full and vibrant. He said imagine the earth Rosa without all the stress worry argumentative agrevations, just the beauty and times it by 10 at least. He said he & mum knew how much I missed and loved them and they loved me with all their hearts.

My mother said when she passed away she came back to hold my hand to try to tell me there is another life after the earth life. She said she didn't want to leave us. She said she didn't want me to marry mark in 2010 she said you my darling are full to the brim of light and even though there is sadness where there is that much light no darkness can stay, she said if she had ten ladders it wouldn't be enough to say the difference in level of light between him and me.

I asked my mum did she like the beautiful outfit she had when she was buried, she immediate changed into that outfit which seemed like a instantaneous occurrence I was surprised and smiled as I saw all the colours and textures.

I looked at my father and he too had a suit and tie on! They then showed me themselves waltzing around ( both were beautiful dancers ) the next instant my mother had this white simple but beautiful tunic on, she told me to expect miracles because they have and will happen, she told me not to fear anything for there isn't anything to fear.

They both came very close and kissed my cheeks and walked hand in hand along the beach ( their bodies although very real didn't seem to have any inncummberance about them they felt solid in some way but not in a weight way )

After my parents had walked away I found myself sitting under the palm tree and in my lap was a beautiful white feather.

I believe the source is connection. I believe two minds rational & irrational ( thinking - feeling ) first have to join together to become one mind. Then that one mind can link to all minds that then shows there is only one mind ( source ). All information is one part of a whole.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A man's first connection, at Stage 3

I am sitting on a wooden bench at the side of a old-styled house in the country. I can see a couple of trees in front of me, the sunlight playing on the leaves. There is a very slight breeze. There is a building slightly to my left. It is a stable. I've been here before. The place is where I lived with the woman I am trying to contact. I stand up, turn to my left and move toward the rear of the house. I haven't seen this before. There is a vegetable garden there. Slightly farther away from the house is a windmill. I keep walking around the house in the same direction. The woman appears behind me, catches up with me, smiles and takes my arm. We walk to the front of the house. There are 3 steps up to the veranda. She has me sit down and goes into the house. She comes back out with a tray with a pitcher and two tall glasses - lemonade! She smiles again at me and sits down in the other chair. The tray is on the small table between the chairs. I can see her profile. She looks like a slender version of the Victorian era "Gibson Girls." I'd guess her to be around 25 years old. She's dressed in Victorian style. Beautiful!

I stand up and walk to the front of the veranda. The view changes. I remember this being in a small township with just wooded hills around. What I see before me is a very large city. It is night. Everything is lit up. The streetlights are slightly yellow in colour (gas lamps?). There is one large church in the middle of my field of view, about 3/4 of a mile away. It is the only large building around. I just see streetlights and single story structures (homes?) extending off into the distance. The church is in Norman or old Gothic style - very plain and solidly built. With its steeple it is about 10 stories high.

I turn around and see the veranda again - daylight. She is still sitting there. The scene shifts again and I'm on the local transit I recognize. I've never seen trains like that anywhere else. I have a feeling of the people here being unfriendly for some reason. I count myself back up as I cannot find the veranda again.

She didn't speak to me. I just felt a sense of, "Everything's alright."


I'm back on the veranda! My wife looks at me and stands up. She holds out her hand to me and tells me to come with her. We go inside. She has me sit down. She kneels down between my knees so she can look at me directly in the face. Her face is close to mine. I tell her she doesn't need to kneel, that she should com sit in my lap. She smiles and tells me to listen. She tells me that I need to let the images that I don't like just go - being in unfriendly crowds, etc.. Just accept them, wish whomever is there peace and happiness and let it go. This kind of imagery has cropped up in dreams, before. I always get defensive. Yeah, she knows me...


The first session surprised me when I recognised myself in the child. I now feel that I left too quickly. The actions of the child seemed to preclude any verbal communication. It was only afterwards that I remembered that the contact didn't need to be verbal.

In each of the last 2 sessions, I was very happy to be there with my former wife. I had this feeling, each time, that she knows me better than I do. I felt so good while she was there.

During the scene shifts, I felt uncomfortable. Even the night-time view of the city bothered me for some reason. It wasn't supposed to be there. It just felt wrong.

Follow up:

While dictating my notes onto my recorder, I felt repeated "touches" again. It was like being told that she's always there. She has told me once that she is waiting for me. This is the first time our contact has been dealing current issues (mine). It makes the contact more real for me. If nothing else comes of this, I am grateful for that.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman having her first Self-guided Afterlife Connection

I was in a land of peace. I saw a heart beaming, and when I went through it I felt warmth and a soothing connection.

Then I saw a tall woman laughing, it was my mommy. Young and vibrant, welcoming me with open arms. We talked about her going and the what if's. She told me she loved me, and was sorry everything was so chaotic back home. She steadily told me she us fine and everything will be alright. I told her I want to stay, she said it would be great, but it is not my time and we will all be back together one day. Also to know if she is around me she will touch my face. She has visited the house too, so I'm not losing my mind. Her hugs and kisses felt so real though. She had to persuade me to leave, even though she did not want me to. When I awoke I was at peace.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman having her first Self-guided Afterlife Connection

Holy cow!! I am amazed at what just happened. I meditate regularly and so I am familiar with the way my mind wanders and whatnot--what I just experienced was nothing short of miraculous!

My grandpa was immediately there and was young and happy. Always smiling. I was in a place with him and other beings but they mostly stayed off in the distance a bit. The place was light. I guess you would say white light. My Gpa (going to start using that instead of always writing grandpa) portrayed to me packet like information about that realm and what I could do there. It was crazy because I was very aware of being here but was so mentally /spiritually there. My body here felt very light and detached which sometimes for a minute or so happens when I meditate. I was like that and soooooo in the other place for at least 15-20 minutes.

Right now I feel like the top of my head has opened up. I feel great! Anyway, back to my Gpa. He told me in another packet of info that by merely thinking of the place I would raise my vibrational frequency here in this realm. I can't believe how absorbed I was there. A couple times I even tried to distract my mind but just couldn't. I was there!! And all the while my Gpa would laugh and smile and call me Annie like he used to. I asked about reincarnation and he said a part of him is back here. I told him about grandma and how miserable she is a lot of the time and what a pain in the neck she is and he said she would understand once she's there and he would be waiting for her. He just smiled and laughed and said Ah, my Camille ..

Ok, I'm rambling. It was the most profound experience I have ever had in meditation!

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman having her first Self-guided Afterlife Connection

It's so difficult to put this into words. For the most part, I lost a sense of time and space. In fact, the music stopped and I felt that I had only been in this experience for a few minutes. I did communicate with Taylor, though not in a way that can be easily explained. We were together, sharing thoughts and memories. We were very happy. I can't say that I actually saw him in a traditional way. It was more like a mental presence. We surrounded ourselves in LOVE and compassion. There was no feeling of separation, or that we had been apart ever. Still, there is a feeling that this was just a beginning. I found myself not wanting to leave the experience, but learned quickly that I didn't need to leave it. It would be with me always (and always has been). There was also a feeling that this was much, much bigger than the two of us. I'm very excited to learn more.

There was a magnificent power, very tangible surrounding us in this space. The power was not separate from us, but part of us. It's just so difficult to put these things into words.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman having her first Self-guided Afterlife Connection

I had trouble seeing a place at first. I think maybe because of all of my past experiences with guided meditations all of the scenes I had experienced before were jockeying for position. This caused a moment of anxiety as I did not want to try to control what I saw. So I just relaxed and let it all go. Finally I found myself sitting in the sand on a beach right next to the surfs edge. I looked out over the water and everything was bathed in a golden/pink light through clouds with the sun low on the horizon.

As soon as this all became clearly focused I was instructed to see an opening. A circle appeared in the air over the water. It seemed far away and close at the same time like an optical illusion or something. I stood up and it became large enough for me to fit through and I just stepped through this opening seemingly in the air but not “up”. Seemingly out over the water but instantly right in front of me at the same time. I never touched the water I just moved/stepped through. As soon as I was through I was surrounded by light, bright but did not hurt my eyes. There were no boundaries, no walls, no floor though I felt like I was "standing" on something "solid."

When instructed I saw my daughter right next to me. I was still facing forward in the direction that I stepped through and she was facing me but slightly off to my right but only inches away. The "air" began to shimmer and move. She looked at me and took my right hand into hers. I said I love you and she smiled a huge smile and said "Of course you do! No doubt in my mind." We hugged fiercely but gentle at the same time. The air shimmered again and the scene began to blur. She said "The connection is not strong right now, this will be way too brief. Don't give up. Come back again." I was immediately back outside that place and standing on the beach and even that scene was out of focus. I counted out.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
A woman having her first Self-guided Afterlife Connection

I listened to the very first recording and had such an in depth meeting with not only my mother and my father but also a granddaughter who is yet to be born. Walking on the beach I saw the little girl playing on the beach but didn't pay her too much attention as my mother came walking up to me and we sat down and started talking. She wasn't as old as when she passed but more like the age of before her Alzheimer's disease became bad. It was beautiful because I was able to express my guilt over not being able to get down to Texas to visit her as much as I would have like to and having more time with her before she crossed over. We talked about so many different things that had been bothering me. She sat there holding me and rocking me as I cried, just as she would have done while she was physically there. She told me it was okay that I wasn't there when she passed and that we can talk like this whenever I want. After my tears had dried my father came and sat with us. He appeared younger than when he had passed and said he was having a grand time there. He loved having mom there with him. Then a little girl about the age of 3 came running into my lap telling me that she was my granddaughter who is waiting to be born to my oldest daughter. She brought me such joy.

It was VERY valuable to me because I was able to spend time with my mom that I really needed. I felt so good afterwards that I was no longer dreading my first mothers day without my mom being here because I knew she was going to be enjoying it with me and my younger daughter. She lifted me up and filled me with her love. We talked just like we used before her dementia got really bad.

The source was my mom. My mother knew I needed to talk with her and so she came and made it possible. She knew exactly what I needed. God blesses us each and every day. He blessed me this night by fulfilling my need to be with my mom.

~ Participant Journal Excerpts ~
The next two excerpts are experiences by someone having her first Self-guided Afterlife Connections experiences

The little girl was just playing in the sand at first she just said "Hi" back without looking at me. Then, she looked up at me and when I saw her eyes and face I felt a connection with her. When I came out of the water I looked around and saw the sand, mountains and expanse of the beach. It looked like a beach my husband, daughter and I visited shortly before his passing. When I looked to my left I immediately saw him walking towards me. He was wearing shorts and t-shirt he often wore. I could hardly contain myself from reaching out to him. I kissed and held him. I tried looking at his face wanting to see every detail, and I caught glimpses. He looked like I remembered him. He held my hand and he held me and at one point he picked me up.

It seems like we were just doing so many things. We were walking and skipping throught the water, then we rolled around in the sand and water on the shore. It was bright, warm, clear and beautiful. We next just laid next to each other in the sand and stared up at the blue sky. It seems like we just kept holding on to each others hands constantly. At one point, he let me stand by myself and he stood in back of me with the ocean to our backs and I first saw my mom and dad. In my mind I was saying it's been so long since I seen my dad that I can't remember what he looks like and it bothered me and I kept trying to see a clear picture of his face. More family members who have passed gathered together and they were looking at me. I started to cry and tell them how I want to be good and do good and be kind and forgiving to others. I felt old emotions come up and I felt a mixture of sadness and happiness. Sadness for myself that I have to live in the physical world without my husband and happiness that they were altogether with my husband.

I saw his parents too standing next to my husband. My husband, they, or someone, not sure was telling me it's okay and that I will be okay and I saw myself in a car traveling and feeling happy, yet I was still crying in this moment missing my husband and wishing we could enjoy this earthly life together more and than move on to the spriritual life and enjoy that together as well. Then I realized I needed to come out and count to come back out of the crying.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~
The participant in the above excerpt's second connection

I had a hard time connecting with my husband. At first I saw him and he was next to me, but not as strong a connection as before. My mom actually came through again in this experience, but it was a bit choppy or broken. She was younger and was not crying this time. She brought me to a room, I think it was her house in the afterlife. It was decorated in the colors and style that she likes. She made tea for me and we were just sitting in the living room. I tried looking around and there seemed to be a lot of decorative stuff. Later my husband came in and sat down on a chair next to us. She made him tea too. Again, it seemed like I would fade in and out of this experience. Eventually, I just felt blank and could not move forward so I just stayed in the blankness until I decided to count out.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

The second recording I was able to relax a bit more, probably because of going through the first encounter. So I was mostly just an observer through the exercise. I saw them, but nothing too detailed. So I was surprised when something actually happed with the 3rd exercise. I had no expectations, just kept asking if there was a message and I felt like I was just waiting, and waiting. Then all of a sudden I saw my son jog by me on the beach. I saw his fair skin, blonde hair, he was wearing a gray sleveless t-shirt and black athletic shorts. He didn't look at me, but I felt him. My heart actually fluttered like I actually saw him. It was brief, but him for sure. That is so like him, he always was working out, getting in shape. Its amazing how I had absolutely no expectations and to flash like that.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~
The next two excerpts are from the same
participant in her first two sessions

I was at the beach alone, first walking, feeling water on my feet. I then went and sat down. I sat alone for awhile just looking at how pretty it was. There were birds chirping, and the waves were making beautiful noise. I felt a tear go down my cheek. Jim was sitting next to me, holding my hand. I didn't say anything, neither did he. I just enjoyed it. We were at a beach we went to last summer. It felt familiar. It got very dark, for a while I didn't feel in my body. I came back, we were sitting again. I asked him if he had anything he wanted to say to me, he said, "I'm sorry." I felt more tears. I then heard, "I love you." I got overwhelmed. I told him I had to wake up.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

I went back to this lesson as you suggested in email. I more just used the voice and music to get me to my spot. I was back at my flower garden, sitting and looking at photo album again. This time the pictures are of me younger. My grandparents came, also my childhood dog. They all just came to me. Barry was there, but in the background. It was like Barry was bringing them to me. No words between any of us. Just love. I thanked Barry. I woke with tears again. There is such a feeling of love, it makes my body shiver.

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

Again, WOW! I can still see the doorway into the afterlife, the excitement I felt at walking through it! The instant I walked through I was overwhelmed with the love and I was SO HAPPY to be there! But then I started searching too hard for my son, I could feel him but not see him. I reminded myself to stop, and just let it unfold as they wished. As soon as I did that, I saw my son sitting on large boulders at a pond and he motioned me to come join him. I started physically crying (sobbing) and I couldn't believe that we were together again. I touched him and I could feel his hair as it was in life, feel his cheek as it was in life. I told him I just wanted to look at him forever.

He was patient while I got myself together then said he wanted to show me something. He grabbed my hand and we stood up and started walking. Suddenly my mother's beautiful face appeared, as radiant and gorgeous as she was in her 20's (she died at age 66). Then my Dad....my dad was there! Smiling his beautiful smile and looking at me (my Dad passed away October 2012). I started sobbing again, I miss him so much. Dad put his arm around me, and John still had hold of my hand, and the 3 of us continued walking.

From there I had vague images of things popping up, but I was losing the connection. I remember John saying some things to me...but now I can't remember what they were. Shoot!!!!!!

~ Participant Journal Excerpt ~

I went to the same beach as before and saw the same little blond girl with a red bath suiting. I asked her what she was doing. "Playing."

I felt the temperature drop and the wind pick up. We were the only ones on the beach. I noticed she was getting cold so I grabbed a wool blanket and wrapped it around her. I had warm clothes on already. The Washington coast is usually around 50 degrees so I was really surprised to see this little girl so ill prepared. After I wrapped her up we sat down on the beach together with Aaron. I saw on her right and he sat on her left. Both of us pressing close to each other to keep warm together. The sun was shining and we just sat back in the sand. The three of us simply watching the waves. It almost felt like this was our family. The little girl didn't feel like she was Aaron's and my biological daughter, but its as if we adopted her at that moment.

I felt so happy, relaxed, peaceful there-- especially with Aaron touching me. He makes everything feel safe, right, like there is no rush to be anywhere else.

The next exercise I had trouble wrangling my brain. I was standing in the ocean -- feeling the sand. I knew Aaron was near but it took a little while to focus. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on the top of my head-- since he's so tall and I'm so short. We stood in the water with the little lapping of water around our calves.

Then we were sitting on surfboards in the waves that we were just watching. I thought, "We never really had the chance to surf together." So then I watched Aaron catch a great wave. My mind flew to the only time we surfed in the same area and what a horrible time it was. I went into memories and strong feelings of sorrow and anxiety about that whole past memory.

We tried to go out in the storm surf in Santa Cruz, but I while i was trying to get into the ocean a large wave hit me and my surfboard hit me in the face. I got a black eye. I was embarrassed and pissed. I took it out on him in that moment-- just a little. The feels of regret surfaced the most.

After those memories replayed I was done with the meditation, but then my mind jumped into our old room. Aaron and I sitting on the sofa and me curling into him as I would do sometimes when watching our favorite shows. It felt like we were going to talk a little about what's happening between us now, but then my memories jumped back to the punch to the face.

I stopped the exercise.

Then next time when I walked out of the water and on to the beach. I saw Aaron there with his wetsuit peeled off to the waist. He was sitting in the exact spot that we had been another time in the past on this same beach. My memories of that trip came in. I didn't get to surf with him that time because we only had my board so we traded going out. His best friend was really nice to me once and only on that trip-- that memory came through. Of her offering me her surfboard.

Then I was back in the same sitting area on the beach and my grandparents were there. I was happy to see them. My grandma grabbed my face and kissed me saying clearly in her voice how proud of me she is and Grandpa's smile was huge. It was great to see them together and so happy. I thanked them for helping me out through school and with so much of my life. They think that opening a Bed and Breakfast is a great idea. We had a great group hug. How I love them. I could really feel the love coming off the three of us. As Grandma spoke I thought it was interesting how easy and clear her and Grandpa are to me, but how challenging it is to talk to Aaron. It made me wonder if there was a barrier. I am ok with my grandma and grandpa's passing because they had great full lives--- so maybe its that stress that keeps me from Aaron. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. He's so young.

I felt it was guided strongly when my grandparents showed up, but other than that it just seemed to flow with imagery until my past memories would take over.



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